When not writing for Destructoid or being exploited by Jim Sterling for profit/anus, Holmes can often be found at the mental house for his day job, dealing with Think Wrongs, addicts and famous movie monsters. Holmes will spend his time placing syringes on the ends of his fingers while shouting "Whatttt a thrilll" and licking a comatosed Linda Hamilton's face.
- Freddy Krueger
- The Scarecrow
- Franklystein's Monster
- Linda Hamilton
- The Snake from Anaconda
- Queen Alien
- Jeffrey Jones (The ginger man from stay tooned)
- Arch Angel Gabriel (with whom Jonathan Holmes would fight crime under the guise of Batman)
- Latino Hallucinator ("Monsters spitting out shit and AID's")
- Angry Kneeless "GET ME A FUCKIN' APARTMENT" Man of Short Stature.
- Liam Neeson (acting as Qui Gon Jinn)
The Hospital of Monsters was also the site of Dr Genital's reign of terror in the summer of 2012.