Batman is Covered in Feces and Urine
Podtoid episode 228
Release date 21 November, 2012
Running time 127 minutes
Featuring Jim Sterling
Jonathan Holmes
Conrad Zimmerman
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Podtoid 228: Batman is Covered in Feces and Urine is a New Podtoid episode released on 2012-11-22.

The episode was hosted by Jim Sterling, Jonathan Holmes and Conrad Zimmerman.

Official DescriptionEdit

It is the Thanksgiving episode of Podtoid, and what a show to be grateful for! Join the gang as they host Val Kilmer's Thanksgiving Family Showdown, laugh until you weep at Batman's smelliest videogame adventure, and question the quandary of butt-smelling etiquette.  As if that's not enough, we chat about how Miiverse is being taken over by Willem Dafoe, how fans love to see Jonathan Holmes in peril, and why Conrad's microphone might kill him. All this and more, on a VERY thankful Podtoid! (Link to Dtoid Post)

Episode SummaryEdit

Jim introduces that this episode is the Thanksgiving Special, Jim suggests celebration through shoving a turkey up Jonathan Holmes' Anus, Conrad compares this to the Charlie Brown Christmas Day. Holmes talks a little about people who all of a sudden want to smell people's asses when they meet people they don't know. Conrad responds by singing "Call me Maybe" with revised lyrics (Ass looks Tasty). Holmes decline Jim's advances and Jim teases that he's got a good feeling about his upcoming Willem Dafoe movie pitch.

Conrad begins talking about the Dafoeverse which was an event that had just begun at that point. Jim describes what the Rabbidsverse is all about and how Dafoe can taste your Breakfast. Conrad and Jim gush a little about how much fun the Miiverse is and Holmes mentions that he has not fixed a Nintendo ID for his Wii U yet and Jim yells in non-surprise. Holmes explains that he's been busy with both the Wii U launch event and reviewing the Adventure Time videogame. Jim tells Holmes that he wanted him to be his 100th friends, but because of this that spot has now gone to Chad Concelmo.

Jim blames the Nazi's and Obama's Socialist America for being the reason he can't have over a 100 friends on Miiverse, and Conrad coins the term Nazintendo. Jim calls out Reggie Fritzl-Aime and Conrad calls out Kaizer Fils-Aime. Holmes connection becomes "The Worst" and the trio tries to solve it, eventually it goes good and Jim tells him to keep doing whatever he just did. Holmes mentions that he just closed down something so Jim tells him keep closing things (but not your legs). Conrad and Holmes debate on when Holmes bought the computer with Holmes claiming it's from at least 2011 and Conrad claiming it's from 2012 while doing Sup, Holmes?.

Conrad talks a little about Hitman: Absolution which was a game that he liked. He mentions how purists could easily complain about the game, but that there's an entire difficulty setting called "Purist" for those people, so they can just go play that. Holmes questions the logic of the Instincts system. The trio talks a little about The Walking Dead and Jim admits that he wept while playing it. He details that it upset him a lot and that it's one of the most effective games he has ever played and that he's very thankful for it.

But he's more thankful for the city of Boston and for the Thanksgiving season he's planning something very special. He's planning the Val Kilmer's Family Thanksgiving Showdown (with a Very Special Guest!). The poster is going feature big yellow letters with gold outline for the logo over a picture of Val Kilmer eating Turkey and a blue sub-header below stating "The Man who was the Batman". Jim goes on to explain how the Showdown will go down.

The Showdown takes place in a giant theater in Boston, tomorrow. After having sold a flickload of tickets (20 Dollars to the Sterling Thanksgiving Foundation Charity) to people around Boston, Conrad and Jim walks out in Smart Suits on Stage and presents the show. Jim yells out to the crowd that they will indeed have a Very Special Guest towards the end of the eveneing. But until then they have an entire evening filled with amazing entertainment with Boston's favourite son... JONATHAN HOLMES!

Holmes walks out on stage and begins to sing "Total Eclipse of the Heart", but with a twist, he's singing "Total Eclipse of the Jonathan Holmes". The backup band is a cassette tape that Jim is playing using a portable cassette player while Holmes is singing into a Kids Karaoke microphone. Jim yells out that "THAT WAS SO GOOD, HE'S GOING TO DO IT AGAIN!" and tells the audience to keep applauding while he rewinds the cassette. When he's done, Holmes sings once again, but this time he's standing on a box.

Holmes tells Jim that this is a bad show. Conrad agrees that he has a point, people might miss out on the prices if they leave early, so Conrad decides it's best to lock the doors or electrify the fence so the people can't leave. Jim explains that he has put industrial chains around the doors and also paid off the Fun Gestapo to guard the doors. Jim mentions they'll also have some Bikers guarding, probably the Outcasts since they can be paid off with drugs like Conrad points out.

Next up is "Dog-Play Time" which is 15 minutes of Holmes chasing a Dog on stage. Following this it's time for "Jonathan Holmes meets the Stars" where he interviews famous people (Jim and Conrad pretending to be U2). Holmes expresses surprise that U2 would be celebrating thanksgiving and Bono (Jim) explains that he is so tankfull for everything. Edge (Conrad) is also pretty tankfull. Bono then wishes to touch upon the edge of Holmes' penis. The crowd goes WILD, and not because of the Fun Gestapo or the Tazers.

Holmes decides to take all responsibility and glory from the Val Kilmer's Family Thanksgiving Showdown and Jim decides to let him to do that. Then it's "Price Time". Holmes is standing, pants around his ankles (underwear on) and wearing a Thomas the Tank-Engine sweater. He then yells out, as loud as he can; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY THEATER!" while shooting turkeys out of a cannon at the audience. All of this leading up to the main event...

Jim introduces the main event; "You have witnessed singing, you have witnessed a dog, you have witnessed Holmes meeting the stars and now you are eating delicious turkey.". The audience can't imagine how it can possibly get any better. Jim tells them that they came here for Val Kilmer's Family Thanksgiving Showdown and that they're going to get Val Kilmer's Family Thanksgiving Showdown. Here he is, the Very Special Guest... JONATHAN HOLMES!

Holmes now step out wearing nothing but underpants (two sizes small), he holds his arms out to his side and just rotate for five minutes. Half-way through the second rotation, Jim and Conrad is in a taxi-cab heading out of Boston. They give the money to a man called Vaas that they feel they can trust. The audience does not need to worry since Jim did throw out tools to break out of the theater before he ran off. Holmes claims noone likes Val Kilmer and Conrad and Jim calls him out on him being wrong because The Dark Knight Rises. Ludo.

Jim mentions that he's love to be Ludo and live in Holmes' House. He then goes on to explain that both him and Alex (Jim's Wife) is getting weird ideas for Holmes these days. He begins to explain that he's been getting fan-mail for Holmes when The Ghost of Commodore 64 invades the podcast for the first time. Holmes asks Conrad if he's shaving, which he's not, or if he's near an old dot matrix printer, which he's not either. Conrad leaves for a little while to see if he can figure out the origin of the Ghost.

Jim reads out fan-mail for Holmes; "Dear Jimini, though I am a relatively new Podtoid listener I have one minor suggestion to make about the show. All the time you spend discussing games, swapping annectdotes and general tomfoolery should be cut to have two hours of non-stop Jonathan Holmes abuse, both emotional and physical." -T-1000 (Maybe Robert Patrick). The Ghost attacks the podcast once more and it's believed it has killed Conrad. The hosts are scared for their own safety.

Holmes talks about a troll he met on twitter that went from talking shit about Holmes to, in 15 minutes, talk about his issues in life and Holmes helps him out. Things like that makes him wonder why people on the internet are the way they are. The Ghost atttacks once more and Jim finally names it a Commodore 64. Conrad drops out of the call, seemingly dead. Jim compares Holmes to Batman in that it's enjoyable to see him endure abuse because he's a realistic human being and suggests Rocksteady should make a game called Batman: Farting Shitty.

They describe Batman: Farting Shitty where all the Batman villains just take turn shitting, peeing and abuse Batman in the worst ways. It begins with Hugo Strange shitting on Batman. The Piddler gives him a piddle about poo, "What is Brown and sounds like a Bell?" where the answer is "Dung.". Bane comes in and shits some more on Batman (who is now italian). Jim says he's sorry for being too excited about Batman: Farting Shitty.

Holmes goes on to talk about how people abuse comments by talking about his Anus. Eventually this would lead to No More Anus in 2013. After a little talk about Chasing Aurora, all of a sudden Conrad breaks through the Ghost Prison back into the show, revealing he's alive. Holmes tell him about his and Jim's new Batman game, Batman: Farting Shitty. The Ghost tries to pull Conrad back in when he realizes that it's probably his headset.

Jim decides to cancel his Willem Dafoe pitch because this episode had enough anal talk this episode. The trio goes into Questions and Answers. Conrad rants a little about how the Iron Man movies allowed for Pepper Potts and Tony Stark to become a couple rather than keep the "Will they? Won't they?" mentality of the original comics. The trio ends the podcast witha tribute to Walter Matthau.

Related PagesEdit


  • Lyrics to Ass looks Tasty; "Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but bend right over, your ass looks tasty!"
  • Holmes has a "Screwattack: This Game is Great" sticker from E3 2011 on his computer.
  • Holmes sang "Something's gonna' fill me in the end of the night!" rather than "Together we can make it to the end of the night.".
  • Conrad and Jim disagreed on the lyrics to "Total Eclipse of the Jonathan Holmes" with Conrad thinking it should just be "Total Eclipse of the Holmes".
  • Conrad believes that he saw Adam Tierney from WayForward staring at him through his window the other day.