|Athlete's Foot or: Wash That Before I Kiss It|
|Road Rules 5: Northern Trail episode 008|
|Release date||02 March 1998|
|Running time||20 minutes 08 seconds|
|Featuring|| Jonathan Holmes|
| Previous episode|
RR5 007: Go Dan!
RR5 009: Afraid To Love
Athlete's Foot or: Wash That Before I Kiss It is a Road Rules 5: Northern Trail episode first aired on 1998-03-02.
The episode featured Jonathan Holmes, Roni Martin, Tara McDaniel, Dan Setzler, Noah Rickun and Anne Wharton.
All right, everybody get back and give her some room! Anne is sprawled out on the bed in the Winnie's living room. She's got ice-packs on her ankle and painkillers on her mind. Jon scoots onto the bed, trying to convince Anne that she looks cute. She doesn't feel cute. Jon bends down and gently kisses Anne's bare feet, over and over, while softly stroking her leg. Anne can only cover her eyes - with pleasure or disgust, we can't tell.
Noah safely steers his crew to a delightful cabin in the middle of the woods. The little place overlooks a lake and there's a long dock just right for diving - or shoving. As the others swim and hike, Anne parks it on the shore - she's furious that she can't participate. Jon confesses, "I feel miserable because I know Anne is so sad." That night, Jon slips into Anne's room, offering more kisses. Anne explains she doesn't want anyone touching her feet right now - the little doggies are just too sore. Jon explains that he wasn't thinking feet... How about the forehead? He stands and leans over Anne, puckering up... but she quickly turns her face away threatening to "impale" Jon if he dares kiss her. So much for romance... Jon privately confesses that he's growing lonely for female companionship. Hey, Noah looked pretty good in that dress from the WWF...
After a quiet night on golden pond, the Roadies rise and shine and motor on over to meet RAMON at the Chicago Bear football training camp. The Roadies indulge Ramon with a quick tour of the Winnie before he takes them over to the practice field to meet three huge, young rookies. It's handshakes and introductions all around and then Ramon explains, "your mission is to create an act to present in the first annual CHICAGO BEAR KA BONG SHOW." What the heck is a Ka Bong show? It's like this. Common citizens, like our Roadies, present skits before a panel of judges. Best skit wins the prize. A large Chinese gong sits just off stage. If one of the judges decides an act especially awful, he simply bangs the gong and the team is kicked off the stage. Sounds fun, doesn't it?
The Rulers are broken into teams of two and each team is assigned a Rookie. Now go practice for an hour, get your skit together, and then come back and we'll proceed with the show. Ramon explains that the winners will receive Bears jerseys and the losers will be forced to wash the team's dirty dishes. Practice makes perfect...
It's show time! First up are Tara, Anne, and their very own rookie DARNEL. That guy has been eating well. To the tune of "I'm a Little Tea Pot," the three pathetic performers start to sing "I'm a little Bears fan... " Yuck-o-rama.
Before they can complete the first verse, one of the merciful judges gongs the heck of them and they exit the stage with heads bowed. Next up, Dan, Jon, and their very own rookie BOB. Holy cow, Bob is even bigger than Darnel. And he looks meaner. Dan will play narrator as Jon and Bob act out the parts. It's a day-in-the-life of a rookie. Bob plays himself and Jon gives the performance of his life in three roles that include a lovely lady and a break-dance master. The trio avoids the gong and racks up 20 points. Not too shabby. Our final contestants are Noah, Roni, and their very own rookie JOHN. Of course, Noah is wielding his guitar, and Roni is busting some fierce dance moves. Good ole John is keeping time with both Roadies, singing and dancing like a prow. The judges are laughing and clapping along. It's looking good... No gongin', and the team racks up 41 points, pushing them to ultimate victory. Anne informs Darnel, "you're helping us do dishes!" Anne, Tara, Jon, and Dan head for the kitchen...
What a mess!! Before Anne's mouth fell permanently open, she described the kitchen as "a neverending pile of dishes." There are dirty aluminum food vessels everywhere you look - literally. The losers pull on some plastic aprons and roll up their sleeves. After a few hours, that never-ending pile is still neverending. Ramon returns and instructs the slaves to follow him outside. Released from this dungeon of grease and brought back into the light of day, the Roadies are presented with a Bears football that bears a clue: travel to Rockford, Illinois and bring home the bacon.
The Rulers pile back into the Winnie and it's a lovely afternoon of scenic driving. Noah points out an enormous white letter "M" that has been built into the hillside up ahead. It's the largest letter "M" in the world. The chamber of congress was really grasping at straws, here. The "M" is supposed to represent the efforts of local miners. The Roadies pile out and scatter over the hillside, checking out the "M". Of course, Anne can't hike, so she parks it on the grass at the foot of the mountain. Tara keeps her company, questioning, "who do you think you'll talk to after the trip?" Anne isn't sure, but she doesn't think it will be Roni or Jon. Tara confesses that she digs Jon, explaining, "if we were stranded and had no food and had to eat each other, Jon would say 'eat my arm, I have another.'" He's just that kind of guy...
Back into the Winnie and back on the Road. The Roadies follow their clue to the enormous CINNABURST FACTORY. Bring home the bacon, or bring home the bubbles? First it's a tour of the joint, and now the competition. Katie the Cinnaburst lady explains, "you're going to be broken into teams to pack gum on the assembly line. You will receive three tenths of a cent for every pack you pack. Whoever packs the most will get to keep their money!" Now, this is just like that I LOVE LUCY episode where Lucy and Ethel have to wrap chocolates. Roni and Jon are team One and they just can't get it together. They keep calling out, "turn the machine off!" Dan and Noah are pretty good. But Tara and Anne are determined - they want that money. Their concentration is obvious and it pays off. Jon and Roni box 148 packs, Dan and Noah box 170 packs, but Tara and Anne box 202 packs, earning themselves $485.00. Tara screams, "we're going shopping!" Katie hands over another cast of gum, "your clue is in there." The Roadies furiously start unwrapping pieces of gum and Dan finds the clue first: "Travel to Tiffany, Wisconsin." On the road again...
Noah wants to make a pit-stop in Madison; he wants to show the others his college campus and the house he lives in. During the drive over, Dan and Tara are snuggling on the couch and Jon privately confesses that he is envious of the couple and wishes he was part of a couple. Guess that's why he's been trying to kiss Anne's feet. The Winnie rolls to a stop in front of Noah's house and the funny thing is it looks a lot like Dan's college house. Of course, there are tons of guys sitting around drinking beer, which looks mighty inviting to Ann. It doesn't take Anne long to hook up with the hunkiest hunk in the joint, Brandon. The couple decide to spend the day together and there's a lot of hand holding and lip bumping. Anne invites Brandon in for a tour of the Winnie and then invites him to trade shirts with her. He peels off his tee and Anne hands him one of her own. Brandon moves to tug it on, but Anne suggests "could you just hold off on putting your shirt back on?" He does have a chest...
It's time to hit the road, but Anne just can't tear herself away from Brandon. She jumps out of the Winnie to smother him with one last kiss as Jon sits in the driver's seat grinding his teeth. Why? After all, he's kind of attracted to Ann. And he's disappointed that Anne would get so physical with someone she just met. It's kind of a tense situation. Jon confesses, "feelings are more powerful than anything and they can devastate lives." Hang in there, Jon.